my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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