and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
