Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize