uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
