can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize