Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
