Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
