Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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