Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
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