apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
