So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
