Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
