it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize