Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize