come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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