You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
