Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
