let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
