The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
