rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
