What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All I want is dick and wine.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
