Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
