Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
