and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
