it was like eating out sand paper
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
