if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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