Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
