I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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