i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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