this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
