girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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