Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you would pick up someone in the library
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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