Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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