But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
