Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
