halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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