it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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