when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize