I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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