will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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