I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wish I only lived at night.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
