when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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