Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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