and my herpes radar will keep us safe
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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