I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize