I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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