Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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