your thong is hanging out like whoa
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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