1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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