I could have mohawked her pubes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
