Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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