just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
