fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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