Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
