Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
