I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize