Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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