hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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