we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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