I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
