Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize