she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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