Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
