I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
